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February 05 2018

anextrapart:

jugandbettsdetectiveagency:

guys… I don’t know if you know this but… if you wake up early… there’s so many more hours in the day

strongandsoft:

we’re 6 months into 2018 and it’s still january

Anyways here’s a guy who’s really salty bc I repeatedly won at 1v1ing him

February 01 2018

theghostboy:

dwarvesandrobots:

theghostboy:

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

  • “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
  • “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
  • “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
  • “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
  • referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
  • “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
  • referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
  • “what are they gonna do, fire me?”

I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”

this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far

January 31 2018

bumblebeebats:

rockplush:

rockplush:

tonight i laughed at a video of irish people trying to get a bat out of their kitchen for like 20 minutes until i had a stitch 

you’re doing great you’re doing great

kalgalen:

thepictogirl:

kalgalen:

kalgalen:

Goddang raven tap dancing on my roof

Get A Job

That IS his job

OH my bad sir please proceed

moxperidot:

my favorite thing about “fbi/nsa agent monitoring my computer” things is it implies that there is at least one agent for every single person on earth with a computer

2008 27a2

sorairo-deizu:

valiantlyrainybouquet:

tinysaurus-rex:

saffarren:

dinnermess:

hiyokoifish:

thered498cp:

celticpyro:

vividroute:

jurvektheblogsmer:

NooOOO

Those appear to be bird tracks rather than bunny tracks! Ergo, it was a bird hopping and then taking off, not a bunny getting taken away!

oh my god thank you phoenix wright

yeah those aren’t bunny tracks.

Forgive my sceptism, but why would a bird with a supposedly wide wingspan hop around in the snow in the first place when tree branches would suffice in the beginning?

Feel free to explain that.

I’ll be real I don’t know much about Phoenix Wright. But! I do know a lot about birds.

The mighty ptarmagin! Practically a feathered rabbit, these magnificent creatures are built for the snow.

Look at those boots! Wonderfully feathered. They spend most of their time as little snow lumps.

In fact, they’re very well known for the above phenomenon.

These ptarmagin trails are a pretty common sight!

Reblog for the little snow lumps ✨

2019 0543 500

January 30 2018

2027 9a1f 500

toast-potent:

my followers deserve to read one of the greatest stories in the history of mankind

January 27 2018

atthepriceofoblivion:

Build-a-Bear Employee: please,,, I can’t fit any more stuffing into this pikachu


Me: You fool….. Make Him Fatter

radioactiveferret:

sucymemebabaran:

writing-prompt-s:

You don’t remember what you do for a living. Literally. You black out for 8 hours 5 days a week and a paycheck appears once per month.

sounds like a dream job

Honestly as long as it was a good check I wouldn’t ask a single fucking question.

2046 08ce 500

ghettoinuyasha:

kramergate:

there is…. another juice

why are there so many words

debthaver:

un-neofriended:

Someone please quickly explain baby clothing sizes to me

baby clothes are smaller than most adult or even childrens clothes. i hope this helps

swoony-spoonie:

When the brain fog kicks in..

image
2073 f03b 500

dios-404:

prokopetz:

Why do the movies never show us this Spider-Man?

Fun fact Spider-man once beat the Hulk by telling him a joke that was so funny he turned back into Bruce Banner to laugh

2085 5bea 500

noirhund:

markv5:

Маленький защитник…

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