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September 27 2017

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September 26 2017

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September 25 2017

ragazzzo:

lysistratas:

yes i am girl

yes i play hoop with stick

gir l gamer

image

only 1400’s kids will get this

August 28 2017

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showerthoughtsofficial:

The most dangerous game is resting your eyes after you turned off the alarm clock in the morning

August 27 2017

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ok hear me out guys

fvace:

joner:

fvace:

joner:

fvace:

I’m listening

okay listen closely

image

ok ready

look me boots

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kids are fuckin wild dude,,,

i walked out of my apartment this morning and a five year old kid was playing outside and immediately he pointed at my aparment and was like “some chinese people used to live there. now someone else does”

and i was like… you mean that one? and pointed at my apartment, the one i literally just walked out of

and he was like “yeah”

and i was like……….. yeah…

the other day I was coming back from work and as I’m walking up to my apartment, he runs up to me with two fistfuls of grass and yells DON’T STEP ON THIS GRASS IT’S FOR THE BUNNIES and drops it in the middle of the sidewalk and i’m just like okay!! :D

this morning I left for work and I heard a tapping noise, so I looked up and he was in the second floor window waving goodbye

today I was walking to my door and he ran up to me and yelled DID YOU KNOW SOMEONE IS COMING and i was like WHOA NO WHO’S COMING

and he tells the girl beside him YOU TELL HIM so she tells me “there’s a guide coming! and he’s invisible!” and ofc i’m like WHOA THAT’S SO COOL and the boy tells me that he’s arriving by helicopter. and the helicopter is also invisible and you can’t hear it either! so I ask why he’s coming and they tell me it’s because it’s his birthday and he’ll be here at exactly 6:00

they’re gonna ring my doorbell at 6 so I can tell the invisible man in the invisible helicopter happy birthday before he flies away

so i said happy birthday to him and they showed me his invisible helicopter and then informed me that I misheard them and that the invisible man was, in fact, God

okay so TODAY i came home from work and he came up to me and was like “i rang your doorbell earlier” and so I told him I wasn’t home and asked what he needed me for and he was like

“i had a question”

so I was like alright what was your question

and he goes “do you have a kitchen?” and I was like… uhh yeah I’ve got a kitchen

and he was like okay and walked away

August 07 2017

worm:

classicmeevs:

beekeep:

a watched pot never boils but

an unwatched pot boils over

Over what

over and out

imp:

when people say my name im like.   cant believe i exist

August 06 2017

scuzer:

dubydoods:

pychopath:

scuzer:

owls are bullshit and here’s why

@dubydoods

this is what an owl looks like without feathers 

look at it.

its like it came from the labyrinth.

thanks! i hate it

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olivertrees:

raddestbabe:

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

xanmeup:

reygf:

you know when you can feel yourself going into a depressive spiral but you were already in a depressive spiral so it’s like a double depressive spiral . cool

catch me in that depressive double helix

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chefpyro:

chefpyro:

Sometimes… things

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high-blogging:

i’m really trying not to let fame get to my head but

August 05 2017

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toomuchperfume:

incorrigible-ixoreus:

markv5:

День рождения сильного и независимого мужчины.

My favorite thing on Tumblr are translated Russian cats.

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